Time of my Life

Isn't it about time for another ska revival?

Damn do I miss it.

I'm an inspirational weight loss story to one of the most premier (and egocentric) designers in Hollywood. Funny thing is, I don't feel like I've lost very much (if any) weight.

I recently read the book "Protein Power" (published in 1996!) all about how important protein is and carbohydrates are not. The Atkins and South Beach diets weren't wrong, just miscalculated (or in my opinion, too popular). Read the book (which goes for $0.01 on Amazon) and you'll understand.

I've managed to lose 23 lbs since my move to LA but, it's only been in the last few months when I focused on the book that I've seen real results.

My little piece of Hollywood advice is this: Forget everything you read in EVERY magazine and ASSUME that every diet pill ad and work out regime is LYING. They're all complete shit and no matter what they say it's about as real as Bush's plan to resolve the conflict in the middle east.

Read this book: Protein Power and forget all the "low-fat" shit you've ever learned.

I've never stuck to a thing in my life and this payed off in 2 months!

Since rearranging our apartment our TV hasn't had access to a cable outlet making it essentially useless. Who wants to watch regular TV? I can get my weather from google.

Nicole at the same time decided to stop watching the news and, not really having the energy to hook up the TV and watch news on my own, joined her. The improvements in my life have been fantastic! I'm not worried about losing my job, the economy collapsing, catching swine flu or the American automakers going under. When I really think about it none of the stuff being reported really has anything to do with me. Sure, I COULD catch swine flu but I think I've got a better chance at winning the lotto.

I like living in a world where I'm not constantly being scared into submission by the media and at the same time having it be quiet enough to hear my own thoughts. It's about time.

When I moved to Los Angeles in June of '08 I weighed 188 lbs. In May of '09 in now weigh 166 lbs. That's a loss of 22lbs and the only major thing I changed was my diet (and that was only in the last three months). While I will admit I do try and go to the gym three days a week to lift weights, it usually only ends up being two. The major change in my diet was carbs. I now only eat 30 grams of carbs per day while getting 27 grams of protein per meal. Yeah, sometimes eating only tuna for dinner on Wednesday night sucks but it's worth it when I can see the results in the mirror.

Eating more protein than carbs and seeing the results in weight loss makes me think that as a living organism, I'm definitely meant to eat meat rather than most other foods. Maybe there's a good reason our appendixes stopped working.

If you don't believe me, give it a try. The average man should lose the same while a woman on the same diet can eat a few more carbs and still see results (don't make me explain why they're different. We all know they just are).

I swear if you just commit to it you'll see results in as little as a week. My recommendations? Get a scale the measures body fat and find some low carb tortillas that you really like. You'll learn that you can subtract grams of fiber from grams of carbs to get net grams of carbs. It's as simple as 30 grams of carbs per day. I wish I would have learned this much sooner.

I especially love the dog jumping back towards the building. Like the dog knew what was going to happen yet this guy had no idea his convertible was on the roof of a 9 storey building. Damn I wish I could read the article and see just how it might happen to ME.

I was kissed on the cheek today for opening the door for June Sarpong. She's a lovely person.

I wanted to quickly say that it's 78 degrees here right now and everyone back in CO had a snow day today. While I could have really used a day off I'd much rather be at work hung over than have to scrape my car off in the morning.

I was stumbling and came across an amazing website: 14 Rare Color Photos From the FSA-OWI. My initial response to the first few photos was that they were fake. Obviously the result of a high budget, excellent casting, and a great costume designer. I felt like there was no way that these high resolution color images could have been taken more than 60 years ago. After all, every picture I've seen from the World War II era has been in black and white.

I felt like the rich colors, excellent lighting and great foreground focus is certainly the work of modern photographers but then I did a little research. Color film was in mass production in 1935 and fine camera equipment had been around long before that! After reading up a bit on the history of the photos I did realize that they were indeed real. I'm not sure why I felt so disconnected from the people of the past and for some reason seeing people from 60 years ago that look just like we do, (only wearing different clothes and accepting segregation) only now in color, has had some weird effect on my perception of times gone by. I guess some small part of me felt like color was only something recent generations were able to witness when it's really just been that the past has been portrayed in black and white in all modern media.

Growing up only seeing black and white images of our grandparent's generation has really made me cherish these few photos and long for more. It really makes me wonder why they weren't all in color and how my kids are going to feel about our parent's generation when portrayed in the media. Will all men be wearing orange polyester and have mustaches? Will all women have feathered hair and bell bottoms? Or will it all just be filmed with modern cameras using an expensive lens that gives it the cheap grainy/smokey porn effect? It remains to be seen.

Ever had the pleasure of discovering something great in your adulthood? Perhaps you finally saw Critters 3 and it has now replaced Titanic as your favorite Leonardo DiCaprio movie of all time and you can't believe it's just been sitting there all these years! Or perhaps you finally tried asparagus and even though it makes your pee smell like a homeless man fried in lard and coffee you vow to never eat another food again.

Okay, maybe that's just me, but thanks to my friend Drew I now have Fuck You, Penguin to add to that list. He recommended it to me as a way to cope with the stupidity of the most popular internet videos and I can't thank him enough for it.

And if you're not a 10 year old girl and love all the cutesy pictures and videos of baby animals that never seem to stop circulating the internet I hope you're offended.

A week ago Nicole and I were in the car listening to a radio show with comedian Jim Norton on as a guest. I discovered Jim Norton years ago while listening to an internet comedy radio station and thought he was one of the funniest comics I've heard. Not Doug Stanhope or Patton Oswalt funny, but damn funny. So, when he came to Denver I dragged Nicole out to see his stand-up performance and she pretty much hated every second of it.

Being reminded of this while hearing him on the radio she asked me why I thought his crude, sexist and obscene sense of humor was funny. I replied that I like him because I'm an adult and enjoy adult things and Jim Norton is a true adult comic. She seemed to accept this answer and nothing more was said about him.

This morning on the Today Show they had on as guest the guy who did the "Evolution of Dance" Youtube video with a live sequal to his internet performance. I stood there in retarded awe as I watched this idiot who can't dance shake his legs and flail his arms to a mix of terrible well known dance songs. It was after his performance during an interview that he stated his Youtube video has had 109,596,364 views and if you google it you will see a description of the video as, "The funniest 6 minutes you will ever see! Remember how many ..."!!! What? Who the fuck thinks this is funny??? Is the rest of America really that low brow and Mormon?

I couldn't imagine anything less funny or more G rated and decided that he must be the antithesis of Jim Norton. I guess if there is a heaven there must be a hell and Jim Norton you are my Jesus.