Time of my Life

Today is the day my soon-to-be-wife turns 24. Happy birthday baby! Lets make those wishes come true.

I can't describe the contempt I have for the United Airlines commercials. Why do they bother me so much you ask? Well, let me begin by saying that short stories don't sell plane tickets. United, you can shorten the commercial 95% and still get that same god damn message across.

Second, United completely ruined any kind of good reputation George Gershwin may have had at the time of his death in 1937. Gershwin is considered a major figure in American music and now every time anyone hears the opening ten notes of Rhapsody in Blue they shudder in anticipation of having to witness one of the world's worst advertising campaigns.

Third, what is up with the terrible, dream-like animation? I get the point: Everyday people are heroes. Fuck off. Where's my commercial?

United, I've had it with you. Solely because of your terrible ad campaign I will never fly your airline again. Good day.

The wedding planning is beginning to get stressful. I guess I can't complain too much. Most of the big things are squared away and I'm not marrying a bridezilla. Nicole seems to be cool with going out with the boys for my bachelor party and I think we've decided on a honeymoon location.

The honeymoon plan is to charge it on a card and then hope we get enough in monetary wedding gifts to pay it off. I've also been working overtime so that should help.

The guest list keeps growing and I really hope I can afford all the food for all those people. Well, I guess it doesn't really matter because it's my wedding and I don't care if a few people go hungry. At least it's not going to be a dry wedding.

The bachelor/bachelorette parties are on Thursday, August 31st so mark your calendars and take that following Friday off because we're going to have lots of fun. The wedding is September 3rd and if I like you you'll be getting an invitation in the mail. Please RSVP as quickly as possible.

And remember. Only YOU can prevent forest fires.

Some people get high and make something to eat. We got high and made a clothing company.

It started with making my sister a t-shirt for her b-day. The t-shirt then turned into a work of art which became the first product produced by Judge Me Clothing.

For pics of the shirt and more details go see Nicole's blog.

I grow way too much hair on the back of my head. I can't wait until mullets come back.

I messed up. First time ever.

On Monday during my break I was scrolling through craigslist and I found an old motorcycle for sale for $350. I've wanted a motorbike real bad for months now but I've figured I'd wait until after the wedding. Not really thinking about it I shot the guy an e-mail offering him $175. I figured he wouldn't even reply with such a low offer but a while later he wrote back and said it's mine for $175 if I came and picked it up that night. Excited I called Nicole to tell her of my new treasure. It wasn't two seconds after the words "I'm buying a motorcycle" came out of my mouth that I could hear the doubt in her voice. This immediately frustrated me and I blew up at her. That move right there is what cost me the race.

From then on it was downhill with my extremely stressed out bride to be. Neither one of us was about to let the other win and we ended up fighting for a good portion of the day. To make a long story short: I made it much worse than it had to be and the seas are just beginning to calm. Stupid arrogance. I get so wrapped up in trying to make things go my way.

So now I have a motorcycle (appropriately named The Big Mistake) and one upset life partner (who completely despises my new toy). Nicole says I can't work on it when she's around but the catch is that I'm never around the motorcycle without her (the bike's at my dad's place and we only go over on weekends to prepare for the wedding). Shit.

A wise old man told me today that it isn't worth upsetting my bride over a silly motorcycle. He's right and I'm going to follow that school of thought even though the male inside me wants nothing more than to wrench around with my new bike. I will remain hopeful that we can reach a compromise sometime in the near future but I'm not going to count on it.

"We all know what a sesame seed is but what the fuck is a sesame?"
-Mitch Hedberg