There's something new to experience everyday here! Yesterday, I was showering and I heard a man screaming in horror or pain outside. My first thought was that it sounded like a crazy person but I peeked out the window just to be sure it wasn't an emergency. Outside, directly below our bathroom window was a man standing in the middle of the street belting out these horrible screams to the sky. Just as I was about to write him off as insane a camera crew came into view. L.A. is neat.

Even neater was the grand opening party of a couture handbag store we attended in Beverly Hills last night. I can't say too much because I don't want to get Dominic in trouble with his new firm. But I will say that I've never been so excited to be someplace I don't belong! I'm pretty sure I was the only person in a 5 mile radius wearing a $2.00 Arden B. thrift store top but I felt great in it. I think half the people in there had shoes worth more than our monthly rent and they probably still didn't feel as blessed as did in my thrift store clothes. Oh, and on our way in to the party some kids were sitting outside and one of them mistook me for a celebrity. I have no idea who I could be mistaken for but as Dominic and I walked up one of the boys pointed at me and said "there she is!" but of course as I walked closer he realized I wasn't her, he got a little embarrassed and buried his face in his sister's shoulder. It was cute and maybe even just a little flattering.

Wow! What a whirlwind life has been lately! A lovely, dizzying whirlwind that has landed us in Los Angeles, California.

I'm still trying to convince my brain that this is our new reality but everyday something fantastic happens that makes me think we're dreaming. Yesterday I had an interview in West Hollywood at an amazing private school. I think the interview went well and the school's philosophies mesh well with mine. Even though they are a private school in one of the wealthiest areas in the nation they work hard to make sure their staff and students are diverse, and at least 1/3 of the students are from low income families that receive financial aid. And because it's private they get away with not having to take those worthless standardized tests and they can focus on more important things like actually TEACHING! Oh, they even do everything they can to tap into students' unique talents! The best part about their school is that they believe in social responsibility and every year each grade level participates in a community service project, even the preschoolers!

The position I applied for isn't my ideal job as I'd be working with the infant group (3 months to 2years) but I think it could be the start of something great. I'm really trying to lean on faith here but waiting for the call always kills me. I promise to let you all know what happens. Send good thoughts this way!

I've been back on this side of the border for a few days now but my thoughts have been too scattered to create a coherent post, but now I think I've taken enough time to sort through my thoughts and get settled back in (by "settled in" I mean "prepare for a 1,000 mile move").

The first day I was back I thought I couldn't wait to relax in front of the boob tube and make up for all the mass media I had missed out on. So I sat down and as usual there "wasn't anything on" but that didn't stop me from flipping through EVERY SINGLE CHANNEL. Finally, I decided to stop on my regular go-to channel: Home and Garden t.v., and I nearly had a panic attack! They were remodeling some wealthy white couple's bathroom and talking about marble tiles like there was nothing going on in the world around us. My head spun and I got dizzy with thoughts of the people I'd interviewed in Mexico about sanitation. I remembered the conversation I had with a widow whose makeshift toilet is collapsing. And another family with no toilet at all. I remembered everyone talking about the nicest toilet in the village -- the one that is made of dissolving adobe bricks -- and HGTV is talking about marble tiles?!

I changed the channel.

Something less depressing, like Comedy Central, would take the edge off, right? Nope. The crude humor and racial jokes of whatever idiot stand up was on only made my blood boil more.

I turned the tv off.

I looked around my house and remembered the insides of the people's homes I saw in Mexico. They were simple. Suddenly I felt so blessed and cursed by the things that fill this tiny space. Walk-in closets filled to the brim. Cabinets full of stuff. Junk drawers full of... junk. I was overwhelmed by all the useless crap in my house.

I sorted out my closet.

There were things I had worn once and some that I don't think I've ever worn. What a waste of money and space! What's worse is that most of my clothes were probably manufactured by some poor child in a some horrible sweatshop so that I could fill my walk-in closet with useless symbols of consumerism. I filled bag after bag with Goodwill donations.

It felt good.

I wondered how long it will last. How long will I remember the stories from the villages? How long will it take before I start feel the emptiness of my closet begging to be filled?

Today, I realized I'm American to the bone. And I'm ashamed.

As it turns out, internet access in rural Mexico is almost non-existent. There is, however, one computer with internet access in a teeny tiny library in the “big” town of Rayones, Nuevo Leon, where we are currently staying. Unfortunately, the hours of operation haven’t allowed us to really access the internet but today is probably the last chance I’ll have so here is my very long blog post from Mexico...

Currently, we are staying in “big town” Rayones but on Monday we are heading up to the mountain villages where there are no phones or computers and virtually no running water or electricity either. As excited as I am to get to the meat of what we’re doing here I’m a little nervous to be so far from the outside world. Even though we haven’t had much time to use the phone or the internet here in Rayones it has been comforting to know it is there.

Since we’ve been here most of our time has been spent on orientation, training, and setting up. Our main focus has been on tourism because the nonprofit we’re working under has been asked by the Governor of Nuevo Leon to give a report on issues and suggestions regarding tourism. Basically, the Governor has decided they ARE going to start advertising and pushing tourism so Fifth Sun has gotten involved to help identify potential issues and suggest possible solutions. Our job has been to go out to potential tourist sites and report back on problems we see both from an American tourist perspective and from an anthropological perspective.

I personally wish tourism wouldn’t come here because I fear tourists may cause more culture change and damage than the revenue could ever make up for. Most of the students believe the same but Fifth Sun justifies our involvement by saying that applied anthropology is not going to stop tourism from happening but we can mitigate change.
Since being here I have learned so much and am beginning to understand how anthropology can (and can’t) save the world.

Since we can’t save the world in three weeks I think I may return home, with a group that is leaving a week early, and come back for the second session at the end of summer. I truly enjoy being in the field and I think I may have found my calling, its just unfortunate that my calling doesn’t pay in dollars, or pesos, or money of any kind. Fifth Sun hopes to be able to pay project leaders in the future so my hope is to stay involved in whatever way I can and maybe one day they’ll be able to hire me.

My main focus here is the literacy project and since the organization hadn’t previously done any work with literacy I’m starting with nothing, which is wonderfully frightening. So far I’ve discovered some major barriers to teaching literacy, for example: locals believe that “school” and “classes” are for children only so we have to find a way to teach literacy to adults without asking them to attend a “class”. I have some ideas but we have a ton of research and surveying to do before anything actually happens, which means nothing is going to get off the ground during this session.

By this point many of you have stopped reading because I’m breaking Dan’s number one rule of blogging: Don’t make long posts. Sorry Dan-o but I’ve only got one chance to get all this out there. And there’s more…

Continue reading "a very long post from Mexico" »

This is the worst case of spring fever I've ever had. I keep telling myself to "just hang in there, it's almost over" but the sun came out today and all I want is to go out and play. Dominic and Oni went to the park without me and I'm stuck at home "studying", which looks a lot like if you put an ADHD kid in the middle of a video arcade and told him to read Moby Dick. It's torture!

Four more days. Just four more days.

Not sure how or why I'm making time to post on my blog right now, maybe its the masochist in me? The same masochist that insists on postponing things until the last minute just to see how much it hurts to squeeze it all in to an impossibly short amount of time.

Aside from all the pain I've been putting myself through things are actually quite good right now. Just this morning I sneaked in a couple of minutes of quiet under the morning sun -- actually, it wasn't my idea, I stole it from Oni-dog -- it was really peaceful. I took the opportunity to appreciate life and how it's exploding all around us right now.

If my brain doesn't implode over the next week I'll be fortunate enough to experience some really great changes in my own life. I'm really looking forward to having my frame of mind overhauled in Mexico. Just the thought of being with the people and living how they live has already affected my perception. Just the other day I made a bean burrito for lunch and found myself in that conundrum where the burrito was full but there were still beans left in the container but not enough for a whole burrito. Usually, I'd end up throwing away the 9 cents worth of beans but on this day I stopped to think about the people in Mexico and what they'd do (they don't throw food away. If you're lucky I might one day share with you what my Abuelo does with food). I just couldn't rationalize throwing it away knowing that in a couple of weeks I'm going to be in a place where food is often scarce and 9 cents worth of beans could satisfy a starving person. I saved it. When I went to make a meal the next day I used a rubber spatula to scrape every last bit out of the container, and you know what? it made the perfect burrito!

This might be a practice I'll have to adopt for practical, and not just philosophical, reasons too. As you may have heard/read we're moving to California, Officially! Honestly, I haven't had the time or the energy to put into thinking about it and it just might be a good thing. As disorganized and flighty as I am, I happen to be the "planner" in our relationship, well maybe not the "planner" but the less impulsive one. Dominic, on the other hand, is the fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of guy. So this whole pack up our lives and move to LA thing without a plan? That was his idea. And since I'm so busy right now I can't really freak out about it or take the time to convince both of us that it's a bad idea (i'm not saying it is, but i'm sure i could come up with an argument). The good news is that we'll probably move right after I get back from Mexico so if we end up living out of our car for a while it just might feel like luxury to me. And since I now know how far you can stretch 9 cents worth of beans, I don't think we'll go hungry either.

every answer leads to more questions.
like ink spilled on a blank page, inky rivers trailing off into a million branches...

Nope, just one big blotch. a giant mess. the kind that just gets messier when you try to clean it.

I haven't been a good blogger, lately. Actually, I've been far too busy to be a good-anything, lately. I think they call it being spread too thin. Yep, I've gone and spread myself too thin but I guess it's like a rite of passage for college seniors. Speaking of college, I graduate in three weeks! I've been so busy I sometimes forget that this is it -- I'm finally going to be done with this drawn out chapter of my life. It's neat, and exciting, but really scary too.

When I tell people I'm graduating college soon they ask me what I'm going to do next and my response is always "That's a good question..." and then I don't say anything else -- partly because I don't have an answer but also because I love to see the looks they give. People really want to hear that you have a plan, well, not just any plan but a financially sound plan and since I don't have either I just don't say anything at all.

To be honest I struggle with it too. Somedays I approach critical meltdown at the thought of not having a definite plan, of not having a job, of not having money, of not having a home, or food and starving to death because I did not HAVE A PLAN. But then there are days like today, that I embrace not knowing what is next. It kind of has the slight air of faith about it. Today, I think my future looks bright, so bright I can't even see what's next!

Dear Friends, Pseudo-Friends and complete strangers,

Some of you already know I have accepted an amazing Anthropology Internship in Mexico this May. Our group will be working under a non-profit organization known as Fifth Sun Development Fund. Fifth Sun's Carranza-Casillas Sustainable Mountain Development Initiative, which our group will be a part of, is now in its third year. Located in an isolated valley South of Monterrey, Mexico, the people of Casillas and Carranza have experienced centuries of hardship from conquest and colonization to exploitation and globalization. Many families in the area continue to struggle for land, resources and even basic needs such as sanitation, clean water, and food.

Following the United Nations' framework, Fifth Sun has initiated projects to help the people of Casillas and Carranza gain the skills, knowledge, and tools they need to improve their quality of life. The projects are developed through ethnographic research, locally identified needs, and applied anthropology perspectives. With respect to the culture and natural environment, the projects are designed to 1.) decrease poverty and hunger 2.) increase primary education and 3.) improve environmental sustainability. Some of the projects our group will help with include: Teaching furniture making with the use of available materials and sustainable practices, Adult literacy education, and summer enrichment classes for children. We will also help build knowledge and understanding of the people and their environment with visual cultural documentation and by conducting surveys. The ultimate goal is to empower the locals to continue to use the tools and knowledge even after we are gone.

As student volunteers we will be responsible for paying our own way, each of us is expected to contribute a minimum of $700.00 for travel and lodging expenses. Most of us are full time students with part time jobs that is why we are turning to friends and family for support (that's where you come in). I am asking for your help in raising the money I need to participate in the program. Donations of any amount will be greatly appreciated. If your genorisity gets me beyond my goal of $700.00 the surplus will be forwarded to our group coordinator to pay for additional costs we incur on the trip as well as gifts for the locals who will be housing us.

With our departure date soon approaching I have set up a convenient and secure online donation page through PayPal.

I thank you for your time, consideration, and support in all its forms.

With love and gratitude,
Nicole Filosa

PS if you already got my email ignore this post.

Since I'd never flown pre-911 I wasn't all spoiled by short security lines and the freedom to keep your shoes on through security checkpoints but I DO remember a time when you could carry on a bottle of water or shampoo or personal lubricant; you know, in case you need to wash up and join the mile high club or something. Then someone tried to make a bomb with hair gel and all liquids were banned. More recently, the Department of Homeland Security got really brave again and began letting people bring 3 ounces of their favorite liquids on a plane.

A couple of months ago, when we flew to Florida I got all excited about my newfound freedom to carry on liquids and started checking which of my liquid treasures were under 3 ounces. My husband, however, misunderstood and packed a few things that were over the limit. At the first security checkpoint a guard had Dominic throw away a 4 and a half ounce bottle of lotion, which was WAY over the 3 ounce limit so we didn't complain but there was also a 3.14 ounce container of pomade that the nice security guard allowed Dominic to keep so long as he didn't blow up the plane with it. We were so relieved not to have to chuck the pricey pomade but then we tried to get it passed the mullet haired x-ray douche bag who took his job way too seriously. Mullet Man angrily stopped the conveyor belt, squinted his eyes fiercely and with all the authority vested in him interrogated Dominic about the 3.14 ounce of potential explosives. Dominic defended his transgression and pleaded to keep the over-sized tub of hair goo but Mullet Man said that if he let Dominic bring 3.14 ounces of pomade on the plane then he'd have to let terrorists carry on gallons of nitroglycerin and that wouldn't be fair to all the people who would die, so Dominic threw his pomade away.

When I flew to Albuquerque last week I was extra careful not to breach any liquid laws but I inadvertently brought with me a paring knife that had been left in my backpack. The funny thing is that I didn't even realize I had carried on this weapon of mass destruction until I got to Roswell. That means I carried it with me through all that high tech security -- the same technology that sniffed out a .14 ounce infraction!

I could not believe airport security failed to catch a dangerously sharp blade -- longer than the box cutters used in 911 -- but they got all huffy about a little pomade. I was so angry that on my return flight I decided to leave the knife in my bag just to see if they'd catch it. Guess what? They didn't! Lucky for everyone on the plane I'm not a terrorist. But what if I had been? What if?