the Nonsense in Between

I have fifteen minutes to myself! I wasnt sure what to do with it so i thought i'd post; mostly for the sake of posting since its been so long but partly because I have a lot to say.

Life has been a whirlwind of ups and downs lately -- which, when i think about it, really isnt that different from any other time in my life. I'm trying hard to stay focused on the ups but its been tough. I get the feeling I'm being tested and I'm on the verge of failing. I have a strong aversion to failing so it will likely not happen but it's still too close for comfort.

Summer school is much harder than i anticipated. I have homework every night, and LOTS of it. I need to finish unpacking and get settled into our new place. I need to find a summer job asap to pay for all the expenses of moving into said place. And somewhere in between all the inconveniences of life I must find time to live. This always seems to get pushed to the bottom of the list and its killing me. I wish I could call a time-out but nothing short of throwing in the towel and giving up completely (which, for the faint-of-failure types like myself, is not an option) will end this. So I will wade through the mounds of shit and get to the bottom of that list.

I will find time to live.

A while ago I was contacted by someone at The Boybedlam Review to use the photo below on their website. The article is up now. Click the picture to get to it.

Our trip to hollywood last summer was inspired by Robert Evans' self-narrated autobiography, The Kid Stays in the Picture. His commentary on Hollywood made our trip all the more interesting and so his was the only star we photographed.

The writer of the article, as you'll find out, doesnt have the fondest feelings for the producer but that's what made the photo all the more valuable. And thanks to the guys at The Boy Bedlam Review Robert Evans' star will be seen by many, through the eyes and lens of Nicole Filosa! Neat.

Yesterday, while at the store with my husband, I overheard a homeless guy preaching: "oh, what a lovely day."
I rolled my eyes and thought: "yeah right. its a horrible day. its cold and windy out. i've gotten nothing but bad news. life sucks for me how can this guy be having a better day?" He must have read my face because he stopped and addressed me directly, "Well, ain't it a lovely day?" I replied, "yeah," like "sure dude whatever, please just dont ask me for change." I'd hoped that was all he was going to say to me, i just really wanted to get home and forget about my day.

Fortunately, though, he didnt stop there. He could see that I wasnt convinced it was a "lovely day" and he was determined to make me see it his way. He went on:
"Everyday above ground is a lovely day!" I laughed and repeated his little addage to Dominic. This made the man happy and he repeated it again in singsong: "Everyday above ground is lovely one! Some people didnt make it through the night to see today. Praise God it wasnt anyone I know. Praise God I'm above ground."

I made through last night, I really hope that guy did too.

· Get regular massage or other bodywork - somehow i doubt massaging my temples in frustration every day counts.

· Learn yoga, t'at chi or qigong - i cant remember the last time i touched my toes and you want me to do what?

· Keep a daily journal - i cant even keep up with my beloved blog

· Begin and end your day with meditation - meditation invariably leads to me remembering to add more things to my to do list.

· Spend time with animals and nature - i spend time with Oni, but for those of you who know him, he is not the best stress reducer.

· Sleep according to your bodies needs - haha, right! "dear Professor, my body needs more sleep so I think i'll be an hour late to class every morning. Oh and that 10 page paper? I was sleepy so here's three pages."

· Drink 6-8 glasses of water each day. - Water? 6-8 glasses of WINE would probably help reduce stress more efficiently.

· Eat small, frequent, well-balanced meals. - The wine is more effective on an empty stomach anyway.

· Schedule daily time alone in a private place - I'm guessing "toilet time" doesnt count for this one.

· Engage in a spiritual practice - I'm guessing "toilet time" doesnt count for this one either.

my social life
my love life
my complexion
my sanity
my tan
my health
my blog
my freetime

...but it is almost over. Then we CELEBRATE!

Even with school cramping my style I was able to enjoy a very important day: My husband's birthday. We rode his new (old) motorcycle to Cheesman park where we enjoyed eachother's company and tried not to get robbed by some meth-heads. It was so romantic. There are a few pictures from our excursion here.

Later that evening we saw one of Dominic's favorite comedians, Doug Stanhope, at the Oriental theater. It was shockingly informative and only slightly offensive.

Dominic seems very content since turning 24 and I couldnt be happier to see him so. I'm glad I was able to take a break from school to help him celebrate his day.

Below is an email i got on myspace this morning and below that is my response. forgive my hasty blog but i'm still reeling from this guy's audacity. ugh.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Ethan
Date: 26 Jun 2007, 03:07 AM

Hi... I'm a young writer and I'm in a band. We're new, but we'll most likely be famous within a year... based in chicago. But im moving for a while to the denver area for a little while to do some writing. That's just to let you know who I am....

BUt what I'm asking is this... and you'll probably tell me to fuck off but I want to be upfront right away....

I have a girlfriend, but I'm looking for something um, more, while I'm in CO.

I have pics, but i have to be discreet at first because of my gf. I hope you understand. I'll send once we talk a bit and I get a little more comfortable with you. For now I'll say I'm 5'9, dark blond hair, blue eyes, 175 lb, cute baby face.

If you're not totally turned off, please IM me at ethan812003 on yahoo, or ethanamb2005 on AIM. Or just tell me your screen name

You're ridiculously hot in your picture, by the way...

----------------- Reply -----------------
You're ridiculously retarded. or maybe there's something else wrong with you like you have no scruples. or worse you have no soul.

If you would have taken five seconds to look at my profile you would know that i am happily married. Something I hope you never have the pleasure of experiencing. And frankly even if i weren't i'd be telling you the same thing. Because I do have scruples.

I hope you catch some incurable disease and that your girlfriend wises up to your despicable ways before she catches something from you.

you've ruined my morning but i feel for the people in your life as you will likely inflict irreparable pain on them at some point if you have not already.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

I'd tell you to go to hell but i'm sure there's already a reservation there for you.

Do not contact me again.
thanks,
nicole