"Home" has felt like a question for the last eight years. For a long time I had hoped it would change; that I would replace old home with new home and solve the whole dilemma, but now that I'm older (and wiser?) I'm trying to embrace the dilemma. Sure, it's inconvenient to have to travel several hundred miles by two types of transportation just to see my family but at the same time i realize it's a blessing to have such strong roots -- even if I do feel guilty for being so far away sometimes.

Tomorrow morning I leave for Roswell, it will be the first time i've been home in over a year and half. I have felt the distance between me and that place growing, I used to push it away even, but now I want to hold on to it; preserve it like an old photograph. I realize that even if when I do find a new place to plant my roots (Denver? LA? An Island in the pacific where clocks are forbidden?) Roswell will always be home and I hope that it is always there for me to go back to.

This trip is going to be hard because I have to leave my (new) family for an entire week. I realized today that Dominic and I haven't spent a night apart since he was having an affair with an architectural model, that was nearly three years ago! I know that in the grand scheme of things one week away is not a big deal, especially when you consider we spent the first six months of our relationship in separate states, but I'm still going to miss him terribly. I guess it will be good practice for when I leave to Mexico for three weeks (oh yeah, most of you don't know about that, its actually quite blogworthy. expect a post soon, my parents actually have internet that's not dial up now so I'll try posting from home)