the Nonsense in Between

I've been back on this side of the border for a few days now but my thoughts have been too scattered to create a coherent post, but now I think I've taken enough time to sort through my thoughts and get settled back in (by "settled in" I mean "prepare for a 1,000 mile move").

The first day I was back I thought I couldn't wait to relax in front of the boob tube and make up for all the mass media I had missed out on. So I sat down and as usual there "wasn't anything on" but that didn't stop me from flipping through EVERY SINGLE CHANNEL. Finally, I decided to stop on my regular go-to channel: Home and Garden t.v., and I nearly had a panic attack! They were remodeling some wealthy white couple's bathroom and talking about marble tiles like there was nothing going on in the world around us. My head spun and I got dizzy with thoughts of the people I'd interviewed in Mexico about sanitation. I remembered the conversation I had with a widow whose makeshift toilet is collapsing. And another family with no toilet at all. I remembered everyone talking about the nicest toilet in the village -- the one that is made of dissolving adobe bricks -- and HGTV is talking about marble tiles?!

I changed the channel.

Something less depressing, like Comedy Central, would take the edge off, right? Nope. The crude humor and racial jokes of whatever idiot stand up was on only made my blood boil more.

I turned the tv off.

I looked around my house and remembered the insides of the people's homes I saw in Mexico. They were simple. Suddenly I felt so blessed and cursed by the things that fill this tiny space. Walk-in closets filled to the brim. Cabinets full of stuff. Junk drawers full of... junk. I was overwhelmed by all the useless crap in my house.

I sorted out my closet.

There were things I had worn once and some that I don't think I've ever worn. What a waste of money and space! What's worse is that most of my clothes were probably manufactured by some poor child in a some horrible sweatshop so that I could fill my walk-in closet with useless symbols of consumerism. I filled bag after bag with Goodwill donations.

It felt good.

I wondered how long it will last. How long will I remember the stories from the villages? How long will it take before I start feel the emptiness of my closet begging to be filled?

Today, I realized I'm American to the bone. And I'm ashamed.

Wow! What a whirlwind life has been lately! A lovely, dizzying whirlwind that has landed us in Los Angeles, California.

I'm still trying to convince my brain that this is our new reality but everyday something fantastic happens that makes me think we're dreaming. Yesterday I had an interview in West Hollywood at an amazing private school. I think the interview went well and the school's philosophies mesh well with mine. Even though they are a private school in one of the wealthiest areas in the nation they work hard to make sure their staff and students are diverse, and at least 1/3 of the students are from low income families that receive financial aid. And because it's private they get away with not having to take those worthless standardized tests and they can focus on more important things like actually TEACHING! Oh, they even do everything they can to tap into students' unique talents! The best part about their school is that they believe in social responsibility and every year each grade level participates in a community service project, even the preschoolers!

The position I applied for isn't my ideal job as I'd be working with the infant group (3 months to 2years) but I think it could be the start of something great. I'm really trying to lean on faith here but waiting for the call always kills me. I promise to let you all know what happens. Send good thoughts this way!

There's something new to experience everyday here! Yesterday, I was showering and I heard a man screaming in horror or pain outside. My first thought was that it sounded like a crazy person but I peeked out the window just to be sure it wasn't an emergency. Outside, directly below our bathroom window was a man standing in the middle of the street belting out these horrible screams to the sky. Just as I was about to write him off as insane a camera crew came into view. L.A. is neat.

Even neater was the grand opening party of a couture handbag store we attended in Beverly Hills last night. I can't say too much because I don't want to get Dominic in trouble with his new firm. But I will say that I've never been so excited to be someplace I don't belong! I'm pretty sure I was the only person in a 5 mile radius wearing a $2.00 Arden B. thrift store top but I felt great in it. I think half the people in there had shoes worth more than our monthly rent and they probably still didn't feel as blessed as did in my thrift store clothes. Oh, and on our way in to the party some kids were sitting outside and one of them mistook me for a celebrity. I have no idea who I could be mistaken for but as Dominic and I walked up one of the boys pointed at me and said "there she is!" but of course as I walked closer he realized I wasn't her, he got a little embarrassed and buried his face in his sister's shoulder. It was cute and maybe even just a little flattering.