the Nonsense in Between

I've had the urge to post on my blog but every time I sit down to type nothing happens. Well not nothing, I do get a few random bits of nonsense out but nothing coherent enough to publish. It seems I've come to a place in my life where there are more ineffable moments than nonsense in between.

I've sat at this keyboard many times to try to explain it but my words lose their meaning inside a little text box. I know there are more steps ahead that will get me to a place where I can use this space to explain myself.

Other than my battle with the limits of language life is pretty good. The sun shines a lot in Southern California and the pollution bends the light in interesting ways. People around me are genuine and kind. I'm married to an amazing man whose humble heart makes me swoon. My dog puts himself to bed at night and always makes the corners of my mouth turn up.

The constant barrage of germs on my immune system has finally kicked my ass.This is my third battle with the germ armies since school started only six weeks ago. The first two battles were just annoying but today I was sent home with a gnarly cold that has no end in sight. arg.

They've told me this happens to all first year teachers and that once my body's immune system strengthens I'll be able to enjoy life from inside a head that isn't constantly stuffy and sniffly. Until then I'll just have to keep my Kleenex stocked.

Most people, including my dear husband, might assume that a college educated, forward thinking person like myself would vote for Obama this year. Those people might be surprised to learn that I have not yet decided whether or not Obama will get my vote. No, no, no, don't worry I'm not voting for McOldy and What's-her-face either. It's just that Obama with all his charisma and charm has not convinced me that he's truly what this country needs. In fact, no one man (or woman) is what this country needs.

I'm sorry to burst some bubbles here but Barack Obama is just one man, one American. His campaign slogan might be "hope and change" but we shouldn't fool ourselves into believing that a new president, whoever he is, will bring that. I believe that putting too much faith in a man -- and a politician at that -- is dangerous. I'll admit that Obama's sugar coated plans to bring hope and change, and "spread the wealth" around sound decidedly wonderful and refreshing but I don't see a few policy changes in the next 4 (or even 8) years righting this crashing plane.

We each need to pull the wool off, get out from behind our tv/computer screens, make like Gandhi and be the change we want to see in this world. Whatever you decide to mark on your ballot this year don't let it be the only action you make toward change. Don't hope for change, be it.

Oh, and one more thing before you break your keyboard trying to tell me off...
if I were not in California (a state that will vote Democrat) Obama would likely get my vote. But being in a liberal state has afforded me the opportunity to think about putting my vote toward something even more left than the barely-if-at-all-left Obama-Biden ticket.

I've been doing some research and Nader's Peace and Freedom platform appeals to my idealistic side in a way "hope and change" only hint at. I like to believe that within each of us is a spirit to love one another in a way that would take Peace and Freedom from idealism to reality.

If my vote ends up in this third party ticket it's not that I don't believe Obama would be a better president than another Republican, it's that I believe in something even more.