the Nonsense in Between

I suppose my luck has been running out since I got my driver's license. With all the driving (and speeding) I do this was inevitable. However, I always imagined it would be more intimate. He pulls me over, tells me I've been bad. We have a little back and forth and then he gives it to me. Sadly, my first was much different. There was no eye contact to be made, no conversation, no intimacy. Instead, I get a letter in the mail saying we took a picture of you going 11 miles an hour over, send us money. The good news is that photo tickets apparently do not show up on your record, meaning the insurance wont find out. So in the end the photo ticket was a better deal, even in its lack of intimacy.

Did you know that there are only two choices available on TV at 4am on Sunday? I'm not usually up at 4am on sundays but saturday was a particularly long night. After partying all night I just wanted to soak in some TV before hitting the sack. I was suprised and disappointed to discover that each channel was trying to sell me either Jesus or junk. Jesus or Junk? I chose sleep.

I had a terrible case of insomnia last night so I stayed up and made a comic. The pictures themselves were taken months ago by Dan, then forgotten, and recently rediscovered. I hope my comic makes you laugh as much as it makes me laugh.

...you tried to make friends with everysingle person in the bar, including the bouncer's dad
...you think its a coincidence your friend showed up at the bar until she tells you you invited her
...you tried to make an elaborate drug deal with strangers from Oregon
...you woke up saturday morning on top of your covers with all your clothes on
...you found several unintelligible sticky notes posted around your apartment
...you wake up with the feeling you may have embarrassed yourself
...everysingle cup/glass/coffee mug/winegoblet/measuringcup/shotglass/beverage apparati in your house is dirty and you dont know why
...you tried to light a guy on fire
...your friends had to drag you out of the bar
...after being dragged home from the bar you decided to do shots of rum
...the guy who usually drinks you under the table told you drinking more was a bad idea

this was our story friday night. I'd say we probably drank too much. I also found pictures on my camera the next day that i will post in the gallery later. (dan i forgot the log in info)

Ok, not really. Yesterday was the third time I've ever strapped a snowboard to my feet and attempted to glide down a mountain. It turns out beginners do more tumbling and crying than gliding. Last weekend Dominic and I went up and I thought I was going to swear off snowboarding. I couldn't figure it out to save my life. But Dominic is a good coach and with his encouraging words I decided to keep trying. (Actually he had already committed me to a season of snowboarding.) There I was again strapped to that mean little snowboard, facing the scary mountain. To my surprise it turned out beautifully, thanks to my very patient coach. It started out bad but by the end I was starting to get along with the mountain. And for the few moments I wasn't falling I was actually enjoying it. I might have cracked a smile and I'm pretty sure I got a piece of my pride back. I can't wait to go back and show that mountain i'm not afraid, or at the very least make it down without crying.

After a long day at work (with a crazy lady) I came home to this in my mailbox. Thanks, Dominic, cheese makes everything better.

Shit! Did you know today is MLK jr. Day? And people are actually taking the day off in observance of this? I went to work today and waited, and waited for someone to open the door when 40 minutes later it hit me that no one was coming. I called a co-worker and I was like "what the hell, man?" and he was like "why are you calling me so early? shouldnt you be sleeping in? Don't you know today is the day of Martin Luther King Jr.?" And then I think I said "aww FUCK!" he laughed and then explained that management made an executive decision on saturday to close shop on monday. Since I'm not there on saturdays, and I dont belong to any department, NO ONE CALLED ME!

Damn you, MLK Day!

Okay my life's not ruined, but damn this monday holiday bullcrap! I just showed the 240 to the first person and he's ready to seal the deal. Of course he had to bargain a bit which is why the car was priced the way it was. So we made a deal for no less than I expected, sealed it with a handshake, but where's the cash? The cash is stuck in the damn bank that's closed. Why? Because its Martin Luther King Jr. Day!

Last year, just weeks before Fall Out Boy released their latest album From Under the Cork Tree, Dominic and I had the rare opportunity to meet with them. We talked about our recent engagement, thanked them for their part in bringing us together, and even invited them to our wedding. It was endearing the way they spoke with us and congratulated us on our engagement. I remember Dominic congratulating Pete on their success when Pete modestly responded by saying "it's nothing compared to having a hot girl to come home to everynight." That was eons ago and I'm more than sure that Pete can go home with a hot girl everynight, it just might not be the same girl.

Shortly after the release of that cd their fame exploded. EXPLODED! Suddenly my favorite punk band was transformed into the newest boy band. First, selling out shows full of 12-14 year old girls then number one on TRL. You can determine the average age and IQ of Fall Out Boy's new fan base in the comments left on Dom's blog. Despite the growing number of senseless comments I held on to the fantasy of that band I used to know.

I spent the last year in denial but with Fall Out Boy's Grammy Nomination for Best New Artist I think I've reached the final stage of grief: Acceptance.

I'm not even going to waste my time explaining why Valentines Day is bullshit. I'm just glad its over.

And if you see me resist the urge to ask me what my fiance got me for V-day.

So I've been doing this walking thing for, oh, about the last 22 years but it turns out I'm not so good at it. I was walking up a few stairs the other night when I tripped. Oh but I didn't just trip, I caught the top step and flew a good three feet then skidded on my hands and knees for another foot! Now my favorite jeans are ruined and my knees are scraped up nice.

The jeans are replaceable, my scrapes will heal, but it's going to take some serious therapy to get that piece of my pride back.

Me: "Bidi bidi bom bom. That's how little latin girls' hearts beat when we're in love" (in reference to a Selena song). "how do little Swedish boys' hearts beat?"

Dominic: "Yorgen, Bjorgen, Shmorgen"

I'm nine hours into my first blizzard today and one beer in. So far I'm really enjoying it. I didnt have to work today and Dominic got sent home early so we made a liquor run and are planning on having a great time this afternoon just chillin' in (no pun intended).

I drew a picture of the blizzard for those of you who've never been in one. And to my Denver friends, I hope you're safe and warm.

What would happen to the city's nighttime skyline if energy conservationists owned skyscrapers?

Life comes to you when Life is not bothering you.

So is it open ended or revolving?

I think wiffleball is the funniest word in the english language.

I got hit in the face with a wiffleball bat in 5th grade by Cris Saenz; that wasn't so funny.

what's the funniest word you can think of?

I've spent the last week racking my brain to write a math paper about geometric shapes. Last night I burned the candle at both ends to get it done. When I finally made it to bed i couldnt get all those shapes and equations out of my head. It was like one of those tetris episodes; yeah, you know what i'm talking about, when you play tetris for too long and then you close your eyes all you see are tetris shapes. And as if that werent bad enough, when i finally did get to sleep i had nightmares about it.

I had this dream that Dominic and I were building our house and I could see all these shapes. He kept talking Architect jargin and it was making me mad because he wouldnt admit that they were shapes. Then we ran into a problem when we were buiding and I was all, "see i told you it was a trapezoid".

Trapezoids.

Yesterday while nannying, the twins brought up a controversial topic. They asked me if I believed in the Easter Bunny and Santa Clause. While trying to remain as neutral as possible on the topic I probed them for their personal opinions. We all agreed that the Easter Bunny is pretty unbelievable and childish but the boys noted that they'll "believe" in him as long as he continues to contribute to their candy stash.

The boys expressed to me that Santa, on the otherhand, is TOTALLY believable and not just because he gives the most awesome gifts. The boys said they were shocked to learn that some of their classmates dont believe that Santa is real.
And that those kids believe that its actually their parents, not Santa, who put all of the gifts under the tree. One of the twins responded to this nonsense by saying:

"if its our parents who put all the gifts under the tree why would they give themselves gifts marked 'from Santa'? and besides, I've noticed that Santa's handwriting is NOTHING like my parents' writing anyway."

I told him that his argument seemed totally valid and that all he'd have to do is take samples of Santa's writing from other houses to prove his theory. Then he responded, in all seriousness, with:

"well, yeah that would be a good way to prove that Santa is real. But what if he comes to my house writes a note to me then decides to drink a bottle of whiskey before going to my friend's house? Then his handwritting would be TOTALLY different."

9pm: i'm going to be a "senior" for another year, does that make me a senior or a junior?
9:04pm: actually i'm a second year senior.
9:05pm: Damn.
9:10pm: i wonder how many credit hours you have to have before they give you an honorary degree?
9:42pm: mountain dew is gross. where's Dan Energy Man Mayer when I need him?
10:37pm: I heard you should try to hold off on urinitating while studying because it keeps you awake.
10:49pm: its also keeping me from being able to concentrate.
10:56pm: I also heard you can damage your bladder by holding your pee.
11:15pm: my marginal propensity to stab out my eyeballs increases exponentially each time I read a page in my economics book.
11:15pm: oh. dont worry about my bladder, I peed.
11:39: There's a fox on the roof.
11:50pm: v=(y*p)/m -so- (m*v)=(p*y) and i'm so not going to remember what that means in 8 hours.
11:56pm: economists take all the fun out of the social sciences. i hate them.
11:59pm: i dont think i'm going to get an "A'' on my econ exam.

Yep, you guessed it: more from the caffienated mind of me.

Right now, at 2am on a...whatever day it is now, I'm wondering if that leaning sensation i'm experiencing is a side effect of the copious amounts of stimulants flowing through my tired body or the copious amounts of knowledge weighing my head down.

Earlier today i thought i'd completely lost it when i bought 2 cans of go fast and felt a slight discrepancy in size between the two as i walked up to the cashier. in my hands they seemed almost the same size but not quite so to reassure myself that they were infact the same size i checked the ounce-age. Yep, both the same: 11.9. Yet it just didnt seem right and i was back to believing i'd lost my mind until i brought them home and stood them next to eachother. You can see for yourself that they are indeed different sizes. but only just enough to make me think i was insane. though these days it doesnt take much.

Crazy energy drink company trying to mess with my head. Like i needed that today.

Dan, this means i paid money for energy drinks. I paid money to have my sanity tested! I'm coming to your house tomorrow so put your panties on and chill me some energy drinks.

Here's to hanging on to my sanity for one more week!

if i ever went to a tennis match i'd wear windchimes as earrings.

I can finally (for a short moment) breath a sigh of relief as I just handed in one of three term papers. I'm feeling quite delirious though because I was up until 2:30 this morning typing it. Its been said that I'm not the best at managing my time, and while I cannot deny that claim, i have to admit that I have become quite proficient at the art of procrastination. My mind and body may feel differently but (so far) my grades seem to support this.

In typical procrastinator fashion, I'm scrambling to type my last punctuation mark at the 11th hour as was the case this morning, or so I thought. I finally called it quits at 2:30am hours after i had realized my ability to form a coherent thought had faded. I made the decision to take a short nap and finish up the paper later. 7am and i'm feeling rested. over a cup of coffee I add the finishing touches and a few extra sentences here and there to meet the 2300 word requirement. Print and race to the finish line. As I speed walk to class (because somehow that seemed less dorky than jogging) I realize I'm going to be 15 minutes late. "finishing the race is what's important", I remind myself. Redfaced and dewey from the sprint I walk in to notice there are no other papers on the professor's desk. Wha?! Am I late? Had she stopped accepting papers? I find my seat catch my breath and casually ask someone if they'd turned in their paper. "Hard copy's not due until next Tuesday, electronic ones not until tonight at midnight." "Oh" I reply. As i realize i have just turned a paper in early FOR THE FIRST TIME. It only took 6 years of college and a misinterpreted deadline.